Find another heart*~

Im sick of this. Im sick. Do you hear me!? IM SICK OF THIS! Im tired of all the stuff that I have to go trough for nothing. Im tired of not being treated the way I think I should. In the end its all a lie. The whole thing. Maybe it was that way to you but I never felt that. Not once. Its not working our hour glass is running emtey. Im through with this mess. I want my life back. I WANT MY HEART BACK! You cant have it. This one is mine. Go find another heart to brake.

Looking back, breathing, walking forward again*~

Time. They say time never heals....yet when I'm hurt its always time that makes me feel better. I have thought about you so much. About everything up till now. About how maybe I'm not the right person...maybe I'm wishing and praying for all the wrong things and reasons. I now realize just how stupid and pointless I can get. I own up to it. this is my mistake. I will pick up each piece and fix myself. I'll stop chasing you. because I'm out of breath. I'll stop.....breath....turn around....and run....no... walk the other way. Because if you will always love me, you'll stop running and turn around to find me. But this time I'll just keep walking forward....all over again.

Raise up from the ashes*~

Take a deep breath. Shake off the tears. Gain courage. Lift your sword up to the sky. take a stand. Raise up from the ashes.

My heart Hurts*~

Do you know how much I cry? I cry when I remember you, becuase the thought that I havent seen you in while feels like forever. I cry when I listen to a song. A song that is telling you exactly how I feel, and then knowing you will never hear it. I cry when I wake up, becuase I just had a dream about you. My heart hurts. Its beating is hard and sharp. My tears burn. they brake out like fireworks. Now I cant escape my pain. Becuase im contantly thinking of you. And it hurts becuase....I know your not.

Shuld I doubt?

Doubting. Its something I'm never supposed to do. But why? Why is it so hard with you? Why cant you understand how I feel about you? Why don't you realize I'm a rare jewel only found once? I don't need your jokes or to be happy. All I wanted was "I love you". I want to see you say it and know you mean it. But with all the questions flouting around in the air it makes me feel so far away from you. Like two strangers that know nothing about each other. What happen? why all of the sudden are you forgetting me? Why are you forgetting I exist? Nothing adds up. Ive never trusted anyone before. Because I don't know how to. Why Do I feel like any second your going to tell me you don't love me? are you thinking about doing that? Then what happened to I'll always love you? Should I doubt that to?

I Miss you...

I miss beliving in fairytales. I miss the thoughts that blew up like bubbles and popped into my head. I miss walking outside at night. I miss counting the stars. I miss seeing you. I miss hearing your voice. I miss seeing your smile that warmed my heart...and my soul. I miss remembering your not mine...yet. Its like a splash of cold water to my face everytime I remember our times together. I miss them. I miss remembering you till I cry. I miss alot of things. Most importantly though....


I miss.... you.